If It's Love You Want, It's Hate You'll Get

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The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

When is it that God comes in your life? I feel like I've been asking to take this situation away or make it go the way I want it to, but neither has happened. I open my mind and heart to Him and I say "Take it from me, do what You want", but I feel like He's not doing anything. My question is does God work right then and there or does He wait and say hold on, josh, let me think about this one. it just makes me mad because i want this either to end, or begin, or be erased from my mind. I don't want any memory of it or i want all of it... im screwed.

it just seems like God put me on hold and I KNOW He doesn't do that, but it feels that way.

I'm kinda ticked at my mom at the moment. She always says my music career won't ever take off and I won't really amount up to it with a guitar in my hand. It's not that I believe I'll make it onto a big record label, but it's the fact that it's like she doesn't care about my dream. I'm not wanting to get onto some big record label. I just want to record my songs, give them to people, and play shows. THAT'S IT.

anyways ... im excited i have 3 full songs done with no kinks to work out. thats about it. im done for tonight.